Three weeks from tomorrow, very very early in the morning, we will be heading to the airport and beginning this amazing adventure. Three weeks!

There is so much to be done before then. Not the least of which is finishing our move, which has been in progress for a few weeks already. It has been easy to get overwhelmed. The stress is mounting, the hours of sleep decreasing. We’ve been getting increasingly tired and impatient with each other, the kids have been clingy and cranky. And I started thinking, We are crazy. Not fun-crazy or adventurous-crazy. Stupid-crazy. Crazy-crazy. What are we doing?

Yesterday we woke up knowing it was Staffan’s last day off before the final trailer-load of our stuff is moved. His last day off that won’t be spent driving to and from the new apartment. One last chance to get caught up on all those things we’ve been needing to do. And we couldn’t get out of bed. As we lay there trying to keep the kids from killing themselves or each other without actually getting up ourselves, Staffan looked at me and said, “So, same plan as yesterday?” with about as little enthusiasm as I’ve ever heard him say anything. I was equally excited. “Yeah, I guess,” I said. “Looks like it’s a nice day at least.”

But slowly a new plan developed. First the suggestion to take the morning off while the sun was shining and go for a little hike nearby. Then we realized that all of our various baby-carrying equipment had already been moved. It’s not really the kind of trail where you can take an umbrella stroller. Then the suggestion of a day trip instead. A day trip like the zoo? Is that crazy? It’s a little over an hour to get there. We haven’t planned or prepared. We have so much to do. Let’s do it anyway!

It was the best decision we’ve made in a long time. We needed that day to de-stress, to reconnect, and to remember that we really do like each other. We needed to be outside, eat ice cream in the sun, pet goats, and hear the sounds of pure joy that can only be made by a 3 year old who has just realized that the surprise car trip was to the zoo. Batteries recharged!

Today I have attacked the to-do list with gusto and made some real progress. I have more energy and motivation, and the kids are more relaxed and less clingy, which has allowed me to get things done. Checking some things off the list makes me feel better and the whole thing becomes a positive spiral instead of a negative one.

And I no longer think we’re crazy to be taking a trip like this. Yesterday was definitely an excitement builder for the things to come. Realistically, in 90 days we’re sure to have at least a few bad ones. We know that. But we really do have a good time together and, as a whole, this experience is going to be amazing!


Peter watching them feed Bosse the seal


Emelie quacking at some geese.

One thought on “Pause.

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